Such is life on the road…
Read at your own risk!
October 12th-I did it…I slept all frikkin day! Oh YAH! Other than getting up to eat lunch, I slept like almost 30 hours…how is that possible? I guess I had to make up for all that lost sleep in Brazil. My girl arrived tonight from LA. She was ready to bare the road life for a couple weeks… her and 15 guys in a stinky tour bus…Uh Oh. She was just as tired as I was from her flight over, so she didn’t mind that I had been sleeping since yesterday and was planning on continuing to do so:)
October 13th-Today was my girl’s birthday, and what did I do to celebrate it with her? I left her alone in our hotel room at 4am to get on a plane, fly to Germany, do press all day there, get back on a flight to London late at night, just in time to meet back up with her at our hotel by 11:50PM…missing the entire day, leaving only 10 minutes of birthday time together…I know, I suck…but I had to work. Her day totally blew because she was all alone in rainy cold London for her Birthday, stuck in the hotel, and my day blew not just because I couldn’t be with her, but because everything that could possibly go wrong, did. I hate to go back to that all too familiar airport subject…but today was by far the most f*cked up flying experience ever, period. It’s one of those damn double fly days! So, starting at the beginning: I got up at crappy 4am, met up with Sacha, Arms, and Chops, and we made our way to London’s Heathrow airport. We checked in, went through the typical airport shuffle and finally boarded our flight. The doors closed and the plane started to move. The captain came on and said, “Good day mates! There’s a bit of a backup here, so yah…we’re gonna have to wait on the runway for an hour and a half.” Come on! I hate being trapped in a plane for hours that hasn’t even taken off yet. OK, whatever, what can you do, right? So an hour and a half goes by and we finally take off, now on our way to Munich, Germany. An hour and a half into the flight, I notice out of my window another plane flying extremely close to us…a little lower, but I mean closer than I’ve ever seen before. And then, all of the sudden, our plane shakes and two other commercial jets go thundering by right above us…I could see into the f*cking windows, that’s how close they were! Our plane then started turning really hard, more, and more, and more, until we had done a complete 360, and we kept going...stuck in a holding pattern still 45 minutes away from Munich. So, needless to say, something was up, and I was freaking out! There was obviously some major air traffic congestion up here. The captain came on the intercom moments later, “Good day mates! Yah, well, the Munich airport is having some major problems of some kind and no flights are being allowed to land there now…so, yah, well, we’re out of gas too, which isn’t a good thing, So I’m going to go ahead and land here in Stuttgart.” Stuttgart!? Stuttgart!? What the f*ck is Stuttgart?! OK…so we made our way down and landed in some frikkin city called Stuttgart. After the plane came to a stop, the captain came on once again…I was gonna hit someone if he f*cking said “Good day mates!” one more time… “Good day mates! So, yah, we’re refueling now and the Munich airport says they’ll be allowing planes to land there 2 hours from now…so we’re going to have to sit here for another hour and a half…those of you who want to get off the plane to find your own way to Munich, well, there are no other flights going out of Stuttgart there today, so…yah…and those of you who want to just go back to London…well, there aren’t any flights what so ever that are going back to London either…so…yah…sorry about this.” By that point, we had been stuck on this frikkin plane for 4 hours! Our flight from London to Munich was supposed to be an hour and a half! After sitting there in f*cking Stuttgart for 2 more hours and then flying another hour to Munich, we’ll be arriving too late to make all the press and radio visits that we had planned for the day…yep, we’re gonna get there, have missed it all, spent the entire f*cking day on this plane…all while my girl is sitting alone in our hotel room on her birthday. I wanted to get off the plane at that point more than anything in the world, but there was no other option. So, two hours later, we took off and left good old Stuttgart and made our way to Munich. We landed in Munich safely, 6 and a half hours later… “Good day mates! Welcome to Munich!” BAD DAY MATE, BAD FU*KING DAY. We amazingly made it somehow to the last event planned for the day, a TV show called the “M Chart Show”…kind of like “Top of the Pops”. After doing that show, we raced back to the airport to catch our flight back to London. Once we finally made it to the security line, we had 45 minutes before our flight left…there was no one in the airport this late at night, so there were only like 6 people ahead of us in the security line. Well, the Munich airport strikes again! 40 minutes later I had moved 5 feet forward, the six people ahead of us were now 3. So how, how, how, how the hell does it take 40 minutes to screen 3 frikkin people? This was the slowest security line in the whole world…and the German guys working there were having a ball…taking their sweet time to search every last molecule of each passenger…laughing and poking fun at the angry passengers, who were all seconds away from missing their flights. And hey, so were we! Our gate was literally directly in front of us, maybe 10 feet past security. I could see the person at the gate waving her hand at us like, “Hurry up!”…she got on the intercom, “Flight 666 to London is now closing, bitches.” NOOOO!! I CAN NOT miss this flight…I CAN NOT miss my wife’s birthday entirely…I CAN NOT spend the night here in Munich. I pushed my way in front of the three angry people ahead of me. “I’m going to miss my flight! It’s leaving! Please let me through quickly!” “OK, shoes off. Jacket off. Belt off. Get the computer out of its bag. Hat off. Jewelry off.” Yah yah yah…I ran through the metal detector, it didn’t make a sound…but oh, what’s this, the smirky little sh*t head who knows I’m going to miss my flight wants to do a manual search on me? So he begins to wand me, pat me down, makes me turn my pockets inside out, open the buttons on my pants, hold out my arms, takes my socks off, WHAT THE $%^&*!?!!? He was making fun of me in German to the other security guys…I could understand a few of the words he was saying. I ran to the end of the security machine and grabbed my things…didn’t have time to put my jacket or belt or shoes or anything back on…I just started running to the gate….but wait, what’s this? The other laughing smirky dip sh*t at the end of the security machine wants to go through my two carry-ons by hand! What the hell is wrong with these people? By this point I had been in this security line for 50 minutes, with only 5 other people! My plane was scheduled to take off 5 minutes ago and the guy at the gate was gone…NO! So this fool is now going through my laptop bag, pulling all the wires out, opening up my DVD case, taking out each DVD, examining each movie, all while laughing. I said, “Look bitch, you f*cking listen to me, I don’t care if you can’t understand what I’m saying, I have to get on the f*cking airplane and you’re being a royal asshole. Let me go now or I’m going to f*cking freak out.” Luckily he didn’t speak English or I would have probably been arrested at that point…but he did understand that I was pissed and had to go…yah, he didn’t care. He then started pulling everything out of my “man” bag, very slowly…wallet, iPod, Gameboy, gum, sharpies, drugs (legal ones), everything. He finally handed me my bag and it was done! Sacha was with Arms and Chops behind me getting molested himself by security screeners…He screamed, “Go Alex! Get on that plane! Don’t worry about us!” So I ran, barefoot, with my shoes and socks and belt and jacket and computer and two bags and passport and tickets all slipping through my hands. There was no one at the gate, but the door was still open to the walkway, so I ran through the tunnel to the plane. They were shutting the door to the plane 30 feet in front of me….NOOOO!! I got there just in time and they let me in…never even asked to see my ticket or passport! After all that security screening and sh*t…I didn’t even need a ticket or identification to get on this plane! I pleaded with the stewardess to wait one more minute for the rest of my friends. They all got on just in the nick of time. We made it to the London airport, rushed through immigration, got our guitars from baggage claim, ran past customs, got into our cars, drove an hour back to the city, and finally made it back to our hotel at 11:50PM. I ran upstairs to my room with minutes to spare…just enough time to sing Happy Birthday and have her blow out the……..lighter:( It was a sh*tty day for me and a sh*tty birthday for Jen, but I made it.
October 14th-We woke up and met up with our new home for the next 3 weeks…that’s right, a stinky double decker tour bus! Yay! The same one as the last Europe tour! We all claimed our bunks and stuffed all our millions of bags into every crack and crevice we could find. A European tour bus can sleep a max of 16 passengers, and because this tour we actually had our own lightening and sound guys, that meant this was going to be one full bus…with no empty bunks to put bags in. “Everyone aboard!?” We then began our short 2-hour drive from London to Southampton for our first show, tonight. I was excited! All these UK shows on this Europe tour are at pretty big venues and the fans here are awesome…sure to make for great shows. We pulled up to the Guild Hall, a really cool looking venue with huge roman columns in the front…it looked like some fancy governmental building in Washington DC. Some fans were already waiting outside for the show tonight, so I signed for them and said hello on my way into the gig. It was indeed a huge hall inside, with massive chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, really pretty. We did the usual routine; sound check, interviews, ate a catered dinner, had a meet and greet with fans, and then it was show time. Our first show of this Europe tour went great…we played for about 1,500 people. Our set for this whole tour is a whole lot longer than what we usually do, about 16-17 songs, so I was definitely getting a work out, physically and vocally…well vocally is physically, anyway. I was still getting over being sick and I was still on crappy antibiotics, so I did a little signing after the show outside by the bus and then went to sleep. Man it was frikking cold in England!!! Our bus’s heater only worked when the bus was running, so all day when it was parked and the driver was sleeping, there wasn’t any heat at all…brrrrrr! Sacha got a little space heater to put by my bunk in the front of the bus upstairs, so I wouldn’t freeze to death...the rest of the band didn't really care about the cold...they used the power of beer to keep them warm! I don't drink anymore unfortunately...love the taste of beer though. Anyway, after I was deep in sleep, the bus took off for its drive to tomorrow’s stop, Manchester.
October 15th-I woke up in Manchester early and went to our day room at some random hotel to shower and sleep some more. It was good to be back in Manchester. We were just here a few months back and played a super fun gig, so I was looking forward to tonight’s show, which was at a much bigger venue than last time. Later in the day, I got picked up at the hotel and headed over to the venue for sound check and press. I arrived at The Apollo and was greeted by a whole bunch of fans once again waiting outside. After signing, I went in to check out the theater…it was huge! And the dressing rooms were super pimpy…they even had a fireplace! Before the show, Jen and I snuck out and took a cab into the shopping area of the city…I only had like 10 minutes there, and I found so many cool clothes! It was a bummer…but come on; do I need any more clothes? That area of Manchester was really nice, a lot of good stores too...I wish I could have had more time to spend walking around there. Anyway, we played for 3,000 people this night…it was awesome! I signed for another huge crowd of fans after the show, on my way back to the bus. I was totally beat, so I went right to bed. We drove out of there at 3AM and headed towards Glasgow, Scotland. I’ve always wanted to go to Scotland and I hear it’s beautiful…hopefully we’re not going to just be stuck in a crappy part of the city, only able to see the gig and the hotel…hmmmm, I wonder???
October 16th-We arrived in cold, wet, and rainy Glasgow, Scotland very early in the morning. It was the same drill as yesterday, go into the day room at some random hotel, shower, sleep, eat, and then head over to the gig for sound check and press. The show and sleep part all worked out fine…but this hotel didn’t have room service or food of any kind! We were in the middle of nowhere, and we were starving for breakfast, or lunch, or whatever…can’t be too picky on the road. So, we headed out into the rainy, freezing weather and walked a few miles until we finally found a pub that served food. I know people like to drink in the UK, especially in Scotland and Ireland….but I had no idea. We walked into this pub, mind you it’s 10:30 in the morning, and there were hundreds of people packed in, all drinking huge pitcher’s full of thick black Guinness beer! They were all watching some important football (soccer) game on the big screen TV’s. I immediately knew then that whatever food they did serve here was going to be…odd. All I wanted was some coffee, and luckily next to Guinness, that was the only other option. We ate beans, black pudding (Pig’s blood), sausage, and back bacon…it was a sad day for my stomach. I wanted to get into the spirit and drink some of that black beer, but I needed to perform tonight and that’s hard to do when you can’t leave the bathroom. Anyway, after that meal, we headed over to the Carling Academy where our show was taking place tonight. The backstage to this theater was really tiny and you had to go through like 13 different doors and down 10 flights of stairs to get to the mini dressing room we all were sharing. It was cool to have our very own caterer for the first time, traveling with us to each city, making dinner each night…the only problem was that the food they were making was horrifying! AAAAH! I won’t even go into what kind of things we ate, but let’s just say that it made my breakfast this morning sound awfully good. Between the mini claustrophobic dressing room, the scary breakfast, and the menu for tonight’s catered dinner, Jen was ready to get out and eat somewhere nice…and I was with her on that. We snuck away out the back and grabbed a taxi to the city. We had no clue where we were going, but we ended up finding a great restaurant. There was a moment there while we were driving through the city that I actually got to see Glasgow for a second and it was really beautiful. The show tonight was the best so far, for me at least…I know Arms and Chops had some guitar problems, but whatever, I had fun! The audience in Glasgow really made this show special for me. There were about 2,000 people there! I signed outside after the gig as usual and made my way to the bus for sleepy time. The band went out on the town and partied with friends and fans after the show…I don’t know where they get their never ending energy…I’m like an old man compared to them! The drive tonight wasn’t too bad…about 6 hours to our next stop, Birmingham. We’ve got a day off tomorrow there, yay!
October 17th- A nice long day off in Birmingham…yes, there was rain, and grey skies, and cold wind, but I was starting to get use to that…and like it…well, no, not really. Nonetheless, we had a really great day off, just walking around the main shopping area of Birmingham (which was really cute), saw a bad movie (Resident Evil), and had a great dinner at a fancy restaurant…we even got to go on this huge ferris wheel that was like 15 stories high! I only peed my pants a little bit;)
October 18th- We woke up early, packed up all our sh*t, checked out of the hotel, and got back on the bus for the fofillionth time. Is fofillion a number? If not, then I am declaring now that it is!
FOR ALL EXAGERATORS AROUND THE WORLD:
“Fofillion” does not have a denomination, it is simply the biggest number there is…one bigger than any number anyone else can come up with...yes, yes…FOFILLION! HA HA HA!
Anyway, we headed out of Birmingham and arrived 30 minutes later to a cute little college town called Wolver Hampton. I got spotted by fans and signed for them as they followed me to the venue. I can’t tell you how exciting it is to show up to all these new cities we’ve never been to and there’s people already waiting in line for our show…our fans are so dedicated…I LOVE IT! Anyway, after the usual schedule of press, sound check, meet and greets, catered dinner, warming up the voice and stretching, we were ready to take the stage. Civic Hall was filled with 2,000 screaming fans as I walked up to my mic. The show went great and I actually played the song I wrote for my wife to the crowd…I sung it to her on our wedding day and I felt like it was another good way to make up for that sh*tty birthday she had! I luckily had the time once again to sign for everyone after the show by the bus. Tonight’s drive was going to be one of the longest on the tour…14 hours to Düsseldorf, Germany! We had to do the whole ferry thing in the middle of the night and float across the English channel like that last European tour a few months ago. Everyone legally was suppose to get off the bus for the boat ride…but I know someone who didn’t…
October 19th-Today was another day off, in Düsseldorf, Germany. We didn’t even arrive until 3PM. TOO MUCH STINKY BUS! The town my Mom has lived in for the last 14 years happen to only be an hour car ride from Düsseldorf, so we went over there for a home cooked meal. I hadn’t been there since I was ten years old…and it had been about that long since she had made me my dinner, so it was very weird! But nice. Very nice.
